Canadian Prime Minister Chooses Keep Canada Slim

For Immediate Release April 1, 2009

OTTAWA: Prime Minister Stephen Harper today announced that he has chosen Keep Canada Slim (KCS) for his personal weight loss program. Harper said he intends to set the pace for the country by losing 20 pounds.

“Obesity is the Number One health issue facing our country,” said Mr. Harper, “and I believe as leader of the country I should set a good example and lead the way to a healthier future for Canada. Together we can Keep Canada Slim.”

KCS President Lee Fairbanks said he will personally supervise the PM’s weight loss plan. “It is very common for minority party members to gain 20 pounds a year in office, especially a high office such as Prime Minister,” he explained. “This weight gain comes from the stress of being responsible for the country but not having any real control in decision-making. Stress is known to increase abdominal fat, especially in people over 40.”

Fairbanks said the second leading cause of weight gain for politicians comes from eating too many cocktail wieners at political events.

For more information about the KCS program go to www.keepcanadaslim.com.

“I have been charting Mr. Harper’s eating habits for the past month as we put together a personalized program for him, and he consumes three times the normal amount of cocktail wieners, when compared to his predecessors, Prime Ministers Martin and Chrétien.”

Fairbanks said Martin, know for fastidious eating habits, rarely consumed more than 2 cocktail wieners per day, except when campaigning, when he increased his intake to as many as 8. One of Chrétien’s favourite habits was to dip the wieners in poutine sauce.

“The poutine sauce made it very difficult to accurately calculate Mr. Chrétien’s overall fat and calorie intake, but he was able to offset this habit by the fact that he was such a fast talker. Mr. Chrétien burned on average 50% more calories per word than the average PM,” explained Fairbanks.

Fairbanks says Harper’s increasing weight is also a result of his political leaning as a Conservative.

“It’s well known that Conservatives gain more weight in office than Liberals. This started with Trudeau and continued with Chrétien and Martin,” explained Fairbanks. “Liberals by nature tend to jump from one side of an argument to another depending on polls, whereas Conservatives tend to take a stand and stick with it. This jumping around causes Liberals to keep their weight down.”

Fairbanks points to former PM Joe Clark as an example. “Before he became PM he was quite slim, but within months of his appointment he developed a double chin. This was because of his inability to change his position on wage and price controls. Trudeau on the other hand was a master at reversing his position, and remained slim all his life.”

Fairbanks said Mr. Harper’s personalized plan would include limiting cocktail wieners to 2 per day, and encouraging him to change his mind more often.

“People who change their mind more often tend to become emotional in defence of their never-ending new strategies. In Parliament this results in more standing to defend positions and make new statements, which burns off more calories.”

Keep Canada Slim has also started work on a new menu for the dining hall on Parliament Hill. This will focus on adding fibre to their meals.

“We have added psyllium fibre to the poutine,” said Fairbanks. “This should increase the quality and quantity of bowel movements, which should be n the nation’s best interest.”

Keep Canada Slim is a member of the Canadian Obesity Network an association of more than 1,000 of Canada’s leading obesity researchers.

Keep Canada Slim materials can be purchased by individuals through participating offices or on the website at www.keepcanadaslim.com. Consultations are offered through medical and wellness centres in Alliston, St. Catharines, Hamilton, Stoney Creek, London, Simcoe, Timmins, Winnipeg, Sundre, Alberta and Calgary. The program is also available at the Brantford St. Joseph’s Hospital Lifecare Centre.